Leadership

Leadership

February 27, 2014

Leadership is one of my favorite broad subjects. I’ve read many books on the subject and have been to a bunch of training seminars over the years for leader/managers. I’ve also been privileged to hear different motivational speeches that always leave me inspired. The speaker that I heard a few weeks ago was no exception. 

When I think of leadership there are many quotes that come to mind:

• “A leader is one who knows the way; goes the way; and shows the way.” – John Maxwell
• “Leadership is influence.” – John Maxwell
• “The growth and development of people is the highest calling of leadership.” – Harvey Firestone
• “No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all himself or get all the credit for doing it.” – Andrew Carnegie.
• “Leadership in its simplest form is making a difference.”  - Mark Fernandez, The Luck Company

I am sure there are many, many more quotes where those came from, but those were my favorites. Leadership is making a difference. Not only to those around you but also to yourself. It is a high calling to be a true leader. Not all leaders are born to be Presidents or CEO’s. Some leaders are right amongst the ranks of the everyday, normal, hard-working folks. 

 

Leaders come in all forms and fashions but generally there are some traits that stand out to me for those that are good leaders.  Here are my thoughts on qualities of a good leader:

• A good leader is a good follower; someone who can lead the whole, and also step back and follow just as easily.
• A good leader is slow to speak – not slow speaking, but is slow to open his/her mouth and remove all doubt of idiocy. Sometimes it is necessary not to mouth off but to step back, ponder the situation thoroughly, and then speak.
• A good leader is someone who is meek. Now bear in mind that there is a huge difference between meekness and weakness. Being meek is being humble, patient, and calm. Just because someone is meek does not make them weak in any form.
• A good leader is one who leads by example, not the old “do as I say not as I do” adage. It is terribly hard to follow someone who can’t live by the boundaries that they set for you.
• A good leader can be friendly with everyone he/she is leading, but never friends with them and there is a big distinction between the two. Sometimes that’s one of the hardest qualities to possess and the hardest lines to draw.
• A good leader is a good communicator, not necessarily a good orator, but one who can  communicate to those that they are leading and motivate them, make them buy into the course of action that it requires to achieve an end result.
• A good leader is one who realizes that he/she is only as great at being a leader as the team is at following. I remember a scene from G.I. Jane where the Master Chief is talking to Lieutenant O’Neil and he tells her “there are no bad teams, only bad leaders.” This goes toward knowing who you have in your team and influencing them to use their strengths and expertise. As Harvey Firestone said, “The secret to my success is a two word answer: Know People.”

There are many more traits or qualities of good leaders and I could keep going with traits that I think are important. We as a county, the United States of America have been blessed with so many great leaders through the years that we have many examples to follow of how to do the job correctly.  Look at the legacies that men like George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, Ronald Regan, Henry Ford, Harvey Firestone, and Andrew Carnegie just to name a few.

What happens in cases where there is no leadership? It has been my experience that the lack of a true leader causes discord among the team. It causes division and derision. It causes the team to turn against each other and turn in on itself to the detriment of the organization or to the purpose. 

When I think about the lack of leadership, I wind up going back to a scene in The American President when Michael J Fox’s character – Lewis Rothschild – is challenging President Shepard played by Michael Douglas. The scene in mind is in the oval office and Lewis is demanding some answers of his President and it goes something like this:

Lewis: “People want leadership, Mr. President, and in the absences of genuine leadership, they’ll listen to anyone who steps up to the microphone. They want leadership. They’re so thirsty for it they’ll crawl through the desert toward a mirage, and when they discover there’s no water, they’ll drink the sand.”

President Shepard: “Lewis, we’ve had presidents who were beloved, who couldn’t find a coherent sentence with two hands and a flashlight. People don’t drink the sand because they’re thirsty. They drink the sand because they don’t know the difference. 

In truth, we are thirsty for leadership. We are either searching for someone to follow, or we’ve got people following us. Leadership is something that is learned, practiced, and perfected. 

So, what are your thoughts on leadership? What traits do you find make people good leaders? I’m really interested for your thoughts on this one.

Work Ethics

Work Ethics

February 5, 2014

I love to go to conferences or workshops where there are motivational speakers. I always come away feeling so fired up and ready to take on the world. Unfortunately, it lasts until I get back to work and the normal day to day grind starts bogging me down then I lose that fire and enthusiasm. I went to one of those conferences a couple of weeks ago and heard an awesome speaker. With the next few posts, I’m going to try to hold on to a little bit of that enthusiasm and hopefully in the process, keep me on fire and encouraged to keep taking on the world. I’m going to use a few of the points that the speaker made during his awesome presentation as my talking points and maybe, just maybe it’ll encourage some of you all too.

Work Ethics by definition is said to be “a belief in the moral benefit and importance of work and its inherent ability to strengthen character. This is according to the definition that I found on dictionary.com. 

What has happened to our work ethics over the last several years? According to some statistics that the speaker gave to us, 22% of American workers love their jobs so much that they figuratively run to work. The rest of us, well, I guess we’re the ones that drag in and complain the whole day. I tend to fall somewhere in the middle of these two classes though. There are days that I run to work. I can’t wait to get there and get the day started and start working with the students. Then there are the days that all I want to do is pull the covers back up over my head and tell the world “Take this job and shove it!” 

I was raised by hard working parents and grandparents. My dad was/is a hard worker, always seeing that his family was provided for. My mom, while she didn’t work that much outside of the home, she raised my brother and I and many other kids that she baby sat for. She was always there when we went to school of the morning and waiting on us when we got off the bus in the afternoon. How she managed to keep the bills paid and food on our table on their sometimes very limited budget, I will never know. Now we didn’t have the finest of “things” that were out there, but we never went without and we always had our needs met.  And, I can 100% say that we had the finest of family and love that there ever was – and still do thankfully. We were raised to work hard at whatever job we had. We were taught that you earned things - houses, cars, toys, tv’s, this kind of thing - by that hard work. We were also taught to take care of our own. Now mind you, if my brother or I either one went to our parents for financial help, I know that they would do the best that they could to help us out. But after the way that we were raised, I don’t think I could ever bring myself to go ask them for it. It’s not out of fear that I wouldn’t ask them, it’s totally out of respect for the way that they raised us and the examples that they set for us.

Over the last 20 plus years that I’ve been in the “real world” I’ve seen many different views as to what work ethics means to others. I’ve had some employees work for me that had a good job as far as the “package” went – good insurance, reasonable pay and benefits, decent hours – but that person would rather not work and collect welfare for them and their kids than to do the job. What is wrong with that mentality? I’ve seen people that come to work and bust their butts to do the best job that they possibly can each and every day. I’ve seen people that will do just enough to get by or meet production and that’s all you’re ever going to get from them. I’ve seen ones that come in each and every day and fuss and complain and gripe about their job, even going so far as to voice “I hate this place”- those are the ones that I refer to as the life-suckers because they totally suck the life out of everyone around them. 

I’m assuming that these kids of mentalities about their own work ethics have been around since the dawn of time. Although I think in recent years the life-suckers, the just getting by’ers, and the stay home and collect welfare ones seems to be gaining in numbers on those that work hard for what they’ve got. What kind of message are we sending to our young people with these beliefs? Do we really think that this country was built on the backs of those that just did enough to get by? Back during the World War II era when the women worked in many of the American factories while the men were fighting a war on two fronts, do you think they would have been as successful as they were if they’d had that just getting by or staying at home collecting welfare attitude? 

I know not all of us are blessed by having our dream job. I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up so I don’t know what my dream job would be. I mean sure, if I could figure out a way to stay home all the time and still get the pay check, yeah, I’d do it. But seriously, why can’t we all try to find something positive about the job that we have? Sure, there are times that I complain about things, people, rules, etc. with my work, but there are still silver linings around all of the clouds. There are still opportunities with each and every day – sometimes more than others and sometimes hard to remember. I also remind myself that I like to eat, I like to drive my car, I like to live in my house, I like to have that house cool in the summertime and warm in the winter, I like to have times that me and my husband can go out to eat or go to a movie, and I like to be able to feed all of my critters; I cannot do any of these things if I’m not working. That helps to remind me to be thankful for what I’ve got.

In addition to being thankful and trying to make the most of what we’ve got, I think we’ve GOT to help to instill a true work ethic into our kids that are growing up in this “hand-me” society. A little hard work never hurt anybody. If work was meant to be easy, it wouldn’t be called work, it’d be called play. Sadly, though I’m sure that we would all find problems with play if we knew we had to do it. I hope not!

Tune in next week for my continued motivational blogging!

Niceness

Niceness

January 28, 2014

My weekly trips to Walmart are usually very educational. I have always enjoyed being a people watcher just to see quirks, funny moments, surprising moments, etc. – you guys know how this goes. For whatever reason though, Walmart to me seems to have become the place where you can see the worst of the worst all the way to the best of the best. Please don’t think I’m stereotyping here. I’m not talking about how people dress or the things that they have or purchase. I am talking about attitudes, the good, the bad, and the ugly. And I’m not trying to be mean to Walmart in any way; it just seems that in my weekly grocery run through's, I seem to notice more.

There are times that I have been there shopping and have met some really interesting people. A few months ago, while hurrying through the store one Friday evening, I met a very nice little man who was riding one of those scooter type buggies. He was smiling pleasantly as he zipped around us regular buggy pushers. I scooted over out of his way in an aisle so he could get through, he smiled as he passed me, and said “Don’t worry, I won’t hit you! I’m a good driver!” The smile on his face was infectious so I smiled back and told him that I hoped he had a good day. Just as I was getting ready to come out of that aisle and go on to the next, the man came back and pulled his cart in behind me. He told me that he drove a submarine while he was in the Navy in World War II and that while he’d lost his hearing in one ear; he still had another one that he could hear good out of and that he’d lived a good, healthy life. He was such a nice, jovial, and positive man to talk to. We probably chatted there in that aisle for the better part of fifteen minutes or so. I would have loved to have sat down and talked with him longer. I can only imagine the stories that he could have told. I wanted to hug him as we went our own separate ways but I didn’t want to freak him out. Instead I shook his hand and thanked him for his service to our country. That visit with that gentleman made that trip to Walmart worth it.

Then, there are times of going into that store – like during the “Most Wonderful Time of the Year” season – that makes me want to run far, far away and never step foot through those sliding doors again. The season that should bring joy and happiness to all seems to bring out the Mr. Hyde’s in so many people. Over the last several years, what with all of the commercialization of the season, I’ve come to expect this kind of attitude and behavior while in public from November through December. Especially considering that the last time my mom and I went shopping on the day after Thanksgiving, which was about ten years ago, we saw two older ladies almost get into a fight over the last of a certain kind of Care Bear.

Usually though, after the holiday season has passed things tend to level out and you see more niceness from people. Those simple acts of kindness like a smile in passing or an “excuse me” when you round a corner and almost collide with oncoming buggies. But lately, I’ve noticed, and in all honesty, this is happening everywhere, not just in Walmart or in a store of any kind, that people in general have lost that niceness or have lost their manners. That’s very sad when you think about it in the grand scheme of things. It’s not just one generation that is struggling with this loss of manners and niceness; it is all generations that are breathing and walking around now. Baby Boomers, Gen X’s, Gen Y’s, and now the Gen Z’s are all grossly affected by this loss. When did it become ok to be rude in public? When did it become socially acceptable to not speak when spoken to, to not utter an “excuse me” if you’ve done something that warrants it, to not utter a “please” when appropriate, to not say “Thank You” or “Have a nice day” to people. And why can’t we look at each other as all equals instead of looking down our noses at people as we pass them by just because they’re not “quite up to our “standards”?”

Some will blame this on the fact that “I just don’t like to talk to people,” or the fact that “I’m uncomfortable around people that I don’t know.” But frankly, I call that Bull Poop (trying to be nice here!)! Common courtesy doesn’t have to be only on a best friend basis. Common courtesy should be extended to EVERYONE you come into contact with in a day’s time. I mean really, how hard is it to smile, or even look pleasantly at someone you pass along the street or in a shopping aisle? That smile that you give to someone might be the only kindness that that particular person has received that day. Even on terrible days when I’d much rather be somewhere, anywhere else, other than in the grocery store, I still try to smile, even if it’s just a slight grin, at the people that I come into contact with. How hard is it to say “excuse me,” “thank you,” “please,” “no thank you,” or any of these niceties to others when we’re out in public? 

To coin a line from one of my favorite movies, “I hate rude behavior in a man. I won’t tolerate it.” (Captain Woodrow F. Call from Lonesome Dove) Now I don’t expect us all to get a metal working tool and beat someone with it the way the character did in the movie, but really, we could all make as big a difference or impact on other’s lives as Captain Call did in that scene. All we’ve got to do is get out of our self-imposed “ME and ME ONLY” mentality and realize that we’re not alone on this planet and that we have to come into contact with others in a day’s time and most importantly, those people we come into contact with deserve the same respect from us that we expect to get from them. Try it sometime. Smile at someone as you pass them. Nine times out of ten, they’ll smile back at you. That’s the simplest form of kindness that we can each do in a day. Even if you’re having a bad day, that smile that you give and the one that you receive could quite possibly make the day so much better. 

This isn’t rocket science folks! It’s just getting back to the basics that we as a society seem to have lost. As I finish this, I think back to a week that I spent taking some music classes in Nashville. I had to park in a parking garage a few blocks away from where the classes were being held and walk. I did this every day for a week. In that week of walking to classes and in walking around down town Nashville, I passed many, many people. The one thing that has stuck with me from that time is the fact that everyone you passed on the street would offer a smile and some sort of salutation; “Good Morning!” “Hi!” “How are you?” “Beautiful day!” “Evenin’!” And even the occasional “Howdy ma’am!” complete with tip of the hat. There were any number of greetings, but people were seemingly, genuinely kind to one another in passing and some mornings those greetings would just make my day. In the classes, we talked about how friendly people were in the area. One lady there was from Liverpool, England. She asked if people in America were always this friendly or if it was just a southern thing. One of the gentlemen that was helping with the class told her that he thought it was just a Nashville thing because you never knew who you were going to meet on the streets of down town and Music Row. You could be saying “Good Morning” to the next big recording artist or you could find your agent or manager out there. So even though we all don’t live in Nashville and we’re all not looking to find our agent or meet the next big recording artist, I don’t think it would hurt any of us to be nice when we’re dealing with others. To treat others the way that we want them to treat us. To remember that we’re all human and sometimes the beasts in us come out occasionally, but not to let that beast become our complete public persona. Be nice people! Practice some common courtesy out there! Just Be Nice Y’all!!!

Blog Post

January 21, 2014

Blog Post

Over the last couple of weeks, I have really struggled with what to write about. I want this blog to be fun, fresh, and not some political grand stand. The only problem is that the last few things that I’ve given serious consideration to writing about have been politically motivated so I have pushed them aside. I am, by nature, a very opinionated person. Just ask my Momma or anyone who knows me well enough to love me or hate me. Typically my opinions tend to do one of two things; either get people talking to work out a solution to whatever it is that I am opinionated about, or it tends to make people angry and causes lots of drama and I don’t do drama.  I’ve also always enjoyed talking. My Momma can attest to this too, as she got many more than one note sent home when I was in school stating: “Laura is a good student but she talks too much.” But since this blog isn’t actually talking, it’s typing, and it’s a totally one sided conversation, for once in my lifetime, I’ve been at a loss for words. I know that’s very hard to believe.

Today I am home, looking out at the snow flying, and trying to channel my creative juices and get them flowing again. So far today, it’s going fairly well. I’ve just submitted a query to a literary agency for Stephanie and me for one of our projects. We have had two rejections so far; well one official rejection and one no reply rejection, but I understand that even some of the best writers get many rejections before they actually get an agent, much less a contract. I’m trying very hard to stay positive and hopeful on this! One of my favorite parts of a movie – yes, I’m a movie creeper, and this is thoroughly paraphrased – is in Sister Act 2 when Whoopi Goldberg’s character is talking to the young girl that just quit the choir. She gives the girl a book by Rainer Maria Rilke – Letters to a Young Poet. She tells the girl that this young writer keeps writing to Rilke asking that Rilke read his work and tell him if he is a writer or not. Rilke responds to the writer and tells the him that he cannot tell him whether he is a writer or not, but that if the last thing he thinks about before he goes to bed at night and the first thing that he thinks about when he wakes up in the morning is writing, then he’s a writer. Of course Whoopi’s character relates this to singing to the girl she’s talking to, but this scene has stuck with me for many years. I do believe that I am a writer.

You may ask me, Laura, why even bother with it if this is such a struggle? I’ve found in actually doing the writing and trying to make my imagination come to life on paper is actually very fulfilling. It’s fun and exciting to try to create a world that no one else knows about. It’s exciting to create new people that actually become a part of me. Sometimes I struggle with getting the wording right or being able to put what is in my head into written words, but the struggle is sometimes the best challenge of the whole process. Days like today when ideas and thoughts flow from my fingers through a pen or through the keyboard are days that I feel like I’ve really accomplished something. 

So while some posts on this blog will be opinionated, some may chronicle some great event that happened in my life, and others may just be totally random, I have thoroughly enjoyed the creation of each and every one. I’m also learning with them. I’m growing as a writer and finding parts of myself that I didn’t know existed. Hope you’re enjoying and if you have comments or questions, I’d love to hear them!!

All my best!

LS