Direction
May 28, 2015
As I sit
here this evening, with thousands of things floating through my mind all at
once, there is one song that keeps floating to the top; “Life Ain’t Always Beautiful” by Gary Allan. It starts out by
saying, “Life ain’t always beautiful. Sometimes it’s just plain hard. Life can
knock you down; it can break your heart.” From where I sit right now, that is
the honest truth.
I started
this blog as a way of writing, sharing my thoughts, and really getting the
experience of telling a story to someone other than my poor husband that gets
stuck listening to all of my tales. My original goal, and I believe it was
actually in the very first “Welcome” post that I put up, was that I wanted this
blog to be light and funny. There have been times over the last year and a half
that I have veered off into the more serious and sometimes even “preachy”
posts. There have been some funny ones too, but as the song I mentioned earlier
stated, “Life ain’t always beautiful.” There are not always sunny days. There
are not always peaks. Sometimes we have rain and even storms roll through our
lives. And sometimes, we find ourselves in the lowest valley imaginable. For
all light, there is the absence of that light, and for all good, there are
those that have forever abandoned it. So all posts, no matter how much I’d like
for them to be, cannot be funny and happy. For that, I’m sorry, as I
whole-heartedly wish there was another way around that.
Sometimes
changes in directions can come willingly. That happened to me when I decided to
stop working in industry and venture in to teaching my trade to high schoolers.
Boy, what a change in direction! Sometimes good changes come a little
unexpectedly. Take this blog for instance; I never thought I’d be a writer,
although I’ve written hundreds of pages of things in my life. My directional
change when I met my husband was unexpected, but it was good unexpected and has
led to the life that I’ve got now. The directional change to start “farming”
was also unexpected, but even though it’s been and will be lots of hard work,
it’s been so worth it. And sometimes, this life of ours seems to take wild
turns and curves at unexpected intervals. We can truly believe that we’ve got
our cruise control on and our autopilot set, but in actuality, it is NOT in our
control. Life has a way of completely changing our direction with absolutely no
advanced warning. One day all is ok, the next, WHAM, everything is completely
upside down. Life has done that to me and my family at the moment. We are
facing a health situation with my dad that none of us ever dreamed would hit.
It’s one of those situations where you hear of others facing these problems,
but not anyone that you know closely. Things that were once so important and
“needed,” now seem to pale in comparison to what is actually required for that
moment. Everyday routines that were maybe a little hum-drum and taken for
granted have become wonderful and cherished when they’re possible. Good days,
when things are right with Dad, have become few, but when they arrive, they’re
absolutely precious and priceless. Extended family that you usually only see on
holidays have become invaluable in helping with things that you really didn’t
know you needed help with. Friends, acquaintances, and even strangers have
offered loving kindness that will never be able to be repaid. Most importantly,
you find many people of many beliefs, and all of them offering prayers and love
at a much needed time.
I’ve learned
a lot about directional changes over the last few weeks. I’ve ridden emotional
rollercoasters before, but man when they hit, they’re enough to make you puke
up your toenails after all the humps, bumps, and loops go through. So like me,
this blog will from time to time take a change in direction. I don’t know when
I’ll be able to do so, but I would like to chronical some things that we
experience with this illness. I would like for it to be out there for people
that will be experiencing the same thing my family is currently going through.
No cases will ever be the same, but knowing that you’re not alone in the
turmoil, that someone else has experienced something similar, that can
certainly help. That part may be long in the future, but I do want to share it,
one day.
None of us know what tomorrow brings, so sometimes, you’ve got to be willing to ride the ride and see where it takes you. The good thing is, that the valleys don’t last forever, neither does the rain. Good comes out of all situations, even if we can’t see it when we’re in the midst of it. Everything happens for a reason, even if we don’t know what it is. And most importantly, we are NOT the ones controlling the ride. That’s all in God’s hands and His Will will happen and in His time.
As a fitting
end to this post, I think I’ll leave you with some more words of the song “Life Ain’t Always Beautiful,” “But the
struggles make you stronger, and the changes make you wise. And happiness has
its own way of taking its sweet time. No, life ain’t always beautiful. But I
know I’ll be fine. Hey, life ain’t always beautiful, but it’s a beautiful
ride.”
PS – Thanks for the Song Gary Allan!
