Niceness

Niceness

January 28, 2014

My weekly trips to Walmart are usually very educational. I have always enjoyed being a people watcher just to see quirks, funny moments, surprising moments, etc. – you guys know how this goes. For whatever reason though, Walmart to me seems to have become the place where you can see the worst of the worst all the way to the best of the best. Please don’t think I’m stereotyping here. I’m not talking about how people dress or the things that they have or purchase. I am talking about attitudes, the good, the bad, and the ugly. And I’m not trying to be mean to Walmart in any way; it just seems that in my weekly grocery run through's, I seem to notice more.

There are times that I have been there shopping and have met some really interesting people. A few months ago, while hurrying through the store one Friday evening, I met a very nice little man who was riding one of those scooter type buggies. He was smiling pleasantly as he zipped around us regular buggy pushers. I scooted over out of his way in an aisle so he could get through, he smiled as he passed me, and said “Don’t worry, I won’t hit you! I’m a good driver!” The smile on his face was infectious so I smiled back and told him that I hoped he had a good day. Just as I was getting ready to come out of that aisle and go on to the next, the man came back and pulled his cart in behind me. He told me that he drove a submarine while he was in the Navy in World War II and that while he’d lost his hearing in one ear; he still had another one that he could hear good out of and that he’d lived a good, healthy life. He was such a nice, jovial, and positive man to talk to. We probably chatted there in that aisle for the better part of fifteen minutes or so. I would have loved to have sat down and talked with him longer. I can only imagine the stories that he could have told. I wanted to hug him as we went our own separate ways but I didn’t want to freak him out. Instead I shook his hand and thanked him for his service to our country. That visit with that gentleman made that trip to Walmart worth it.

Then, there are times of going into that store – like during the “Most Wonderful Time of the Year” season – that makes me want to run far, far away and never step foot through those sliding doors again. The season that should bring joy and happiness to all seems to bring out the Mr. Hyde’s in so many people. Over the last several years, what with all of the commercialization of the season, I’ve come to expect this kind of attitude and behavior while in public from November through December. Especially considering that the last time my mom and I went shopping on the day after Thanksgiving, which was about ten years ago, we saw two older ladies almost get into a fight over the last of a certain kind of Care Bear.

Usually though, after the holiday season has passed things tend to level out and you see more niceness from people. Those simple acts of kindness like a smile in passing or an “excuse me” when you round a corner and almost collide with oncoming buggies. But lately, I’ve noticed, and in all honesty, this is happening everywhere, not just in Walmart or in a store of any kind, that people in general have lost that niceness or have lost their manners. That’s very sad when you think about it in the grand scheme of things. It’s not just one generation that is struggling with this loss of manners and niceness; it is all generations that are breathing and walking around now. Baby Boomers, Gen X’s, Gen Y’s, and now the Gen Z’s are all grossly affected by this loss. When did it become ok to be rude in public? When did it become socially acceptable to not speak when spoken to, to not utter an “excuse me” if you’ve done something that warrants it, to not utter a “please” when appropriate, to not say “Thank You” or “Have a nice day” to people. And why can’t we look at each other as all equals instead of looking down our noses at people as we pass them by just because they’re not “quite up to our “standards”?”

Some will blame this on the fact that “I just don’t like to talk to people,” or the fact that “I’m uncomfortable around people that I don’t know.” But frankly, I call that Bull Poop (trying to be nice here!)! Common courtesy doesn’t have to be only on a best friend basis. Common courtesy should be extended to EVERYONE you come into contact with in a day’s time. I mean really, how hard is it to smile, or even look pleasantly at someone you pass along the street or in a shopping aisle? That smile that you give to someone might be the only kindness that that particular person has received that day. Even on terrible days when I’d much rather be somewhere, anywhere else, other than in the grocery store, I still try to smile, even if it’s just a slight grin, at the people that I come into contact with. How hard is it to say “excuse me,” “thank you,” “please,” “no thank you,” or any of these niceties to others when we’re out in public? 

To coin a line from one of my favorite movies, “I hate rude behavior in a man. I won’t tolerate it.” (Captain Woodrow F. Call from Lonesome Dove) Now I don’t expect us all to get a metal working tool and beat someone with it the way the character did in the movie, but really, we could all make as big a difference or impact on other’s lives as Captain Call did in that scene. All we’ve got to do is get out of our self-imposed “ME and ME ONLY” mentality and realize that we’re not alone on this planet and that we have to come into contact with others in a day’s time and most importantly, those people we come into contact with deserve the same respect from us that we expect to get from them. Try it sometime. Smile at someone as you pass them. Nine times out of ten, they’ll smile back at you. That’s the simplest form of kindness that we can each do in a day. Even if you’re having a bad day, that smile that you give and the one that you receive could quite possibly make the day so much better. 

This isn’t rocket science folks! It’s just getting back to the basics that we as a society seem to have lost. As I finish this, I think back to a week that I spent taking some music classes in Nashville. I had to park in a parking garage a few blocks away from where the classes were being held and walk. I did this every day for a week. In that week of walking to classes and in walking around down town Nashville, I passed many, many people. The one thing that has stuck with me from that time is the fact that everyone you passed on the street would offer a smile and some sort of salutation; “Good Morning!” “Hi!” “How are you?” “Beautiful day!” “Evenin’!” And even the occasional “Howdy ma’am!” complete with tip of the hat. There were any number of greetings, but people were seemingly, genuinely kind to one another in passing and some mornings those greetings would just make my day. In the classes, we talked about how friendly people were in the area. One lady there was from Liverpool, England. She asked if people in America were always this friendly or if it was just a southern thing. One of the gentlemen that was helping with the class told her that he thought it was just a Nashville thing because you never knew who you were going to meet on the streets of down town and Music Row. You could be saying “Good Morning” to the next big recording artist or you could find your agent or manager out there. So even though we all don’t live in Nashville and we’re all not looking to find our agent or meet the next big recording artist, I don’t think it would hurt any of us to be nice when we’re dealing with others. To treat others the way that we want them to treat us. To remember that we’re all human and sometimes the beasts in us come out occasionally, but not to let that beast become our complete public persona. Be nice people! Practice some common courtesy out there! Just Be Nice Y’all!!!

Blog Post

January 21, 2014

Blog Post

Over the last couple of weeks, I have really struggled with what to write about. I want this blog to be fun, fresh, and not some political grand stand. The only problem is that the last few things that I’ve given serious consideration to writing about have been politically motivated so I have pushed them aside. I am, by nature, a very opinionated person. Just ask my Momma or anyone who knows me well enough to love me or hate me. Typically my opinions tend to do one of two things; either get people talking to work out a solution to whatever it is that I am opinionated about, or it tends to make people angry and causes lots of drama and I don’t do drama.  I’ve also always enjoyed talking. My Momma can attest to this too, as she got many more than one note sent home when I was in school stating: “Laura is a good student but she talks too much.” But since this blog isn’t actually talking, it’s typing, and it’s a totally one sided conversation, for once in my lifetime, I’ve been at a loss for words. I know that’s very hard to believe.

Today I am home, looking out at the snow flying, and trying to channel my creative juices and get them flowing again. So far today, it’s going fairly well. I’ve just submitted a query to a literary agency for Stephanie and me for one of our projects. We have had two rejections so far; well one official rejection and one no reply rejection, but I understand that even some of the best writers get many rejections before they actually get an agent, much less a contract. I’m trying very hard to stay positive and hopeful on this! One of my favorite parts of a movie – yes, I’m a movie creeper, and this is thoroughly paraphrased – is in Sister Act 2 when Whoopi Goldberg’s character is talking to the young girl that just quit the choir. She gives the girl a book by Rainer Maria Rilke – Letters to a Young Poet. She tells the girl that this young writer keeps writing to Rilke asking that Rilke read his work and tell him if he is a writer or not. Rilke responds to the writer and tells the him that he cannot tell him whether he is a writer or not, but that if the last thing he thinks about before he goes to bed at night and the first thing that he thinks about when he wakes up in the morning is writing, then he’s a writer. Of course Whoopi’s character relates this to singing to the girl she’s talking to, but this scene has stuck with me for many years. I do believe that I am a writer.

You may ask me, Laura, why even bother with it if this is such a struggle? I’ve found in actually doing the writing and trying to make my imagination come to life on paper is actually very fulfilling. It’s fun and exciting to try to create a world that no one else knows about. It’s exciting to create new people that actually become a part of me. Sometimes I struggle with getting the wording right or being able to put what is in my head into written words, but the struggle is sometimes the best challenge of the whole process. Days like today when ideas and thoughts flow from my fingers through a pen or through the keyboard are days that I feel like I’ve really accomplished something. 

So while some posts on this blog will be opinionated, some may chronicle some great event that happened in my life, and others may just be totally random, I have thoroughly enjoyed the creation of each and every one. I’m also learning with them. I’m growing as a writer and finding parts of myself that I didn’t know existed. Hope you’re enjoying and if you have comments or questions, I’d love to hear them!!

All my best!

LS

Happy New Year!!

December 31, 2013

Happy New Year!

As I sit here tonight looking back over 2013, it has been an incredible year. Lots of ups and downs, bumps, curves, hills, valleys, potholes, and interesting obstacles. Several work zones through the year and ones that will even linger into the New Year.  But overall, I guess 2013 has not been too bad.

 I’ve learned a lot this year. As a teacher I can really appreciate that aspect. I had no idea that I’d ever be good with horses, let alone a donkey or a mule. Up till about a year and a half ago, I had never really been around horses. I’ve learned a lot about them this year. I am by no means an expert on the subject. They teach me things every day. Each one has its very own unique personality and each one has its very own quirks. I like watching that. I (along with my husband of course) have spent the last 15 months getting a little colt to where just about anybody can walk up to him, put a halter on him, and touch him. I’ve even got to sit on his back while my husband led us around a round pen! I was lucky enough this year to purchase a five year old gelding that has never been ridden and really hadn’t been messed with much. While he still hasn’t been ridden, I’ve worked with him till he lets me rub all over him. He loves to have his belly scratched and he will let me put a saddle pad on him. I’ve also grown very attached to a donkey that knows what treats are just by my saying the word.  He comes running when it’s feeding time so he can get his treats. He is really the coolest little critter that I’ve ever met in my life, and he is the funniest critter I’ve ever met. I wouldn’t trade that little feller for anything. I’ve also learned that 5 minutes of horse petting after a terrible day at work tends to make all stresses and issues that were bothering me totally melt away. Winston Churchill was 100% on the money when he said “the outside of a horse is good for the inside of a man.” I whole heartedly believe that after this past year.

In addition to learning about the horses, I’ve learned a lot about me. I’ve learned that I am stronger than I ever thought I was. I can bust my butt for days on end helping my husband bale hay and it feels wonderful to know that I’ve accomplished something like that. I’ve learned that I am a pretty good writer and that this is something that I could really see myself doing. I’ve learned to have a little more faith in myself so that I might accomplish some of the goals and dreams that I have.

So, 2013 brought horses further into my life. 2013 has brought a farm to fruition; we are now Radagast Farms and its slowly growing. 2013 brought out the writer in me and the desire to really pursue this purpose. 2013 has brought a new job for my husband, one that is stable and that he enjoys. 2013 brought the trip of a life time for me aboard the USS George H. W. Bush. I won’t forget that as long as I live. 2013 has brought a lot of smiles and a few tears, but for the most part, 2013 has been good to me – to us. We are all relatively healthy, for that I am extremely thankful. We are not wealthy in a monetary sense, but our cup is running over with emotional wealth. And we have gained a little wisdom as the year has progressed. I have much to be thankful for from the year 2013.

Now I sit here looking at 2014! A brand new year! What to do with it? Where is it going to take me? 

I’m sure I’m not the only one questioning what 2014 has in store for them. It seems that with each New Year, I start the same string of questions and ponder the same prospects. I don’t really make resolutions any more. Sometimes my intentions are wonderful and full of vim and vigor, but my follow through really stinks, so I don’t force any resolutions that I know I’ll let go of in a couple of weeks.

For me, for 2014, I do intend to pursue my writing. This blog has been a wonderful outlet so far and I look forward to where this will lead.  My Co-author and I have 2 books under way together and we each have some independent projects going. My goal for 2014 is to finish them. I would love to see one or all of them picked up by a publisher but for starters for me, I want to see them finished. This year I want to get our barn finished and a nice round pen fixed so that I can really work with the animals in a true and proper place. I want to be able to ride the two horses that we have that have never been ridden and start training them both. I want to have a little spot in the barn to work on some wood projects. I also want to work on me. Work on patience (something I always struggle with), kindness (toward others, sometimes struggle with this too), and work on seeing things positively – realistically, but still positive. I hope to find more of the good in the world and in all things that I’m involved in. I hope to cut away the negative stuff that tends to drag me down. 

Right now, it’s still a couple of hours till the New Year arrives and right now the possibilities for what it holds are absolutely endless! So, with that, I say 2013; thank you for all that you brought my way. 2014, bring it on, I’m ready!!

Thank you all for reading! I hope that each and every one of you have a Happy, Healthy, and Prosperous New Year!

Merry Christmas 2013

December 24, 2013

Merry Christmas 2013

As I sit at my computer and try to think of exactly what I want to say for this week’s post, there are tons of thoughts floating through my head. This is a hard time of year for me. It has been this way for several years now. I think it has to do with the lack of day light and the cold weather – neither of which are my favorites. Regardless, during December and January I struggle to stay positive and not depressed and angry. I am trying my best this year not to get in the depressive states that I have in past years. With that, I’m trying to be “glass half full” in my thinking. So to stay in those positive, upbeat thoughts, I will leave you this Christmas Eve with my thoughts on all the things I am thankful for. I have so much in life to be thankful for. I don’t think I’ve ever taken the time to list them. I think about that song I’ve sang in church all of my life “Count Your Many Blessings.” Blessed I truly am! Here we go…

I am thankful for my husband Wayne. I am thankful for the relationship that we have; the friendship that we’ve been blessed with as well as the marriage. He is truly my best friend, through thick and thin, richer and poorer, sickness and health. We have had many more ups than we have downs but our downs have always brought us closer together and made us realize how fortunate we are to have each other. I cannot imagine, nor do I want to imagine, my life without him in it. He has taught me what it is like to love and be loved and that to me is absolutely priceless! His love and support in all of my crazy dreams has been constant. He is my rock!

I am thankful this year that my husband and I both have jobs that provide for our home, food on our table, food for all of the critters, vehicles to take us to and from work, and some of the wants that we have. Jobs are few and far between these days and we both have been blessed with good ones.

I am thankful for my family. To me family doesn’t always mean that it is filled with those that are related to me by blood either. I have a wonderful husband. I have a mom and dad who, as far as I’m concerned, still walk on water. I have an awesome big brother that I still look up to – literally and figuratively. I have a daughter and a son that have welcomed me into their lives and have allowed me to call them daughter and son. They have given me eleven beautiful grandchildren that are each ones blessings in their own separate ways. They are amazing little people and I am very thankful to be able to watch them grow and learn. I have a sister-in-law and brother-in-law that are more like sister and brother to me and I don’t know what I’d do without either one of them! And so many, more.

I am thankful for those souls that have touched my life and have gone on to be with God. I was lucky enough to know all four of my grandparents. I miss them each and every day. My dad’s dad was such a jolly man and he loved Christmas and everything about it – he was probably more excited at Christmas than we kids were. I will never forget his laugh or the joy he had when we would go to their house on Christmas Eve and have our family time. Memories of all four of them around this time of year are many and are very precious! I was also very lucky to have been able to be part of my grandson Chase’s life, or rather for him to have been part of mine. Chase was a rare angel that we were blessed to be in contact with for his twelve short years on earth. He taught me more about innocence and seeing the world through pure and untainted eyes than I could have ever dreamed of. He was a much better adult than I will ever hope to be. He was taken from us way too soon, but I am so thankful and so blessed to have known him, held him, watched him , and learned from him for the time that we did have. So while I miss these dear and precious people, and I will miss them till the day that I die, I still rejoice in them having touched my life and my heart. I hold dear the many lessons that I learned from them all.

I am thankful to a dear friend and my soul-sista Stephanie for just being there for me. If it were possible, we had to have been twins in another life. I’m thankful for her encouragement and her support with this writing venture. Without her, I don’t know if I’d have ever had the courage to follow this writing dream and path that we’re forging.

I am thankful for all of the critters that have come into my life this year. To some, that would sound crazy, but for those that love their critters the way I do, I know you all get it. I never got to have pets when I was growing up, so I’ve more than made up for it now. Each of the nine horses that live here have different personalities and quirks. The donkey is the coolest little critter ever. And then there’s the mule, he’s our comic relief. We still have “the girls,” our two little dogs and they’re still prissy and silly as ever. Then there’s the latest addition in our lab/pit mix pup, who has totally brought life back into this place! Anytime I get moody or blue, I can go pet a critter and all of the tension and aggravation from the day melts away.

I know that there is much more that I could list if I thought about it long enough and hard enough. The list of blessing that I need to be thankful for are endless. But I am most thankful for God, who sent His Son, to die for me, even knowing what kind of person I would be, He sent Him anyway. My simple human brain cannot grasp that kind of truly, unconditional love, but I am certainly thankful for it.

So, this year, take a minute or ten, and sit still long enough to think about or to write out the things that you are thankful for. Count those blessings and cherish each and every one for they are all precious and priceless.

Thank you all, those who are reading this for the first time, and those that have followed me since the first post. May God Bless you every one and may you all have a Very Merry Christmas!

Much Love,
Laura

Its the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

December 17, 2013

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Yeah Right! Tell this to the shoppers that you pass in your local Walmart, or better yet, tell it to the people behind the cash registers or the stockers at that same Walmart and see what kind of response you get.

What happens to us as human beings around this time of year? It is supposed to be a wonderful time of year. Filled with the joy of family, friends, giving, receiving, and just general kindness. It’s supposed to be when families are able to gather and maybe have a big meal or just enjoy each other’s company. It’s supposed to be a time when we are able to give back to those who are less fortunate than we are. It’s supposed to be a time where we celebrate what we humans have deemed as the time when our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, was born. But somewhere along the way it seems that we have totally lost this joyful feeling and have turned into humans akin to the Grinch if not worse.

We have turned into a nation that “gives thanks” for what we have on a Thursday in November and by five pm that evening are running over each other in our local malls and Walmart to get the latest and greatest deal on things we don’t even need but we’re going to get because it’s on sale. We are a nation that has eighty-five year old women fighting to the bitter end to get this year’s Christmas teddy bears before they all sell out. We are a nation that has placed the value of “things” higher than the value of love, friendship, or human life in general. We are a nation that has sold its soul to the devil to get the newest iPhone and all the cool little gadgets that go with it. We are a nation that runs out and spends thousands of dollars on a credit card that we’ll never have any hope of paying off – personally and governmentally. And a nation where a mother goes and stabs people to death in a store to get a video game system for her kid because her little boy had to have the best on Christmas morning and she would do it again if she had to.

Do we not realize that these “things,” these video game systems and smart phones, fancy running shoes and $30 socks, iPads and Kindles, all of these “things” are just that, “Things?” There isn’t a one of those things that is absolutely going to 100% improve your life, make you a millionaire, put food on your table or that of your family’s, or make life truly worth living. None of these things that we put so much value upon can love us in return. None of these things can comfort us when we’re sad, rejoice with us when we’re happy, support us when we’re trying something new, or grant eternal live. When we die, all of these things will still be here or in dumpsters and landfills where most things end up. Those smart phones that are this year’s hottest item will be obsolete in two weeks after Christmas if they aren’t already. That game system will wind up in a heap of wires and controllers just like all the others before it in no time. Those $30 socks won’t be in style next week, so we’ll have to get different ones. Those fancy running shoes will eventually wear out or your kid will outgrow them in six weeks and you’ll have to throw them out or replace them. These things do not make someone a person of worth. I could have every one of these things and many, many more, plus all the money in the world and still, I might not be a person of any worth what so ever. When will we realize that worth is not a monetary value?

What is worth? Worth to me is offering a kind word to a haggard mother, who is struggling through a grocery store with three small, rambunctious kids while trying to buy enough food to feed them all with her very limited budget instead of being ugly to her about her children’s behavior or because they’re being kids and laughing or giggling through the store. Worth is saying “Thank You” to the little old man you pass in the store that is wearing a World War II hat instead of getting frustrated with him for taking longer in a line or holding us up as we rush through running over people. Worth is taking the time to appreciate the twinkle in the kid’s eyes as they enter a store and see all sorts of wonder and excitement this time of year instead of only seeing the bad and the sour and the ugly. Worth is saying “Thank you” to someone who opens a door for you or lets you go ahead of them in a checkout line. Worth is smiling at or waving at the person in the car near you who has motioned for you to pull out since you’ve been sitting in line waiting forever. Worth is saying “Excuse Me” if you bump into someone, get in someone’s way, or have to walk in front of them. Worth is saying “Please” or “No Thank You” if you’re asked by the clerk that is bagging your groceries, “do you want this is a bag?” Worth is a simple smile or a simple gesture that is given from your heard and directed toward others.

So during this time of year where we as a nation have valued “things” over human and money is more important than love and kindness please take time to ponder what simple things you could do to make this truly “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year” for yourself or for someone you don’t even know. Smile at someone that you pass in the store. I guarantee you, they’ll smile back. If they don’t, then smile at them the next time you pass them. Eventually that smile on your face will become infectious. Say a kind word to a worker in a store you’re in because goodness knows they’ve probably not seen much kindness during their shift. Drop some coins or what you’d spend on a caramel macchiato into one of the Salvation Army’s red kettles so someone else might be helped with it. Donate a toy to a toy drive. Enjoy time spent with family for no other reason than just being with them. Do something, anything, besides put all of your hope and all of your value in a thing this year. Remember what this season is supposed to be about and make it so for you and yours. This could be the most wonderful time of the year if we’d all make a little effort!

With that, I say to you all Merry Christmas! May God Bless you, everyone! And I do hope that is truly is The Most Wonderful Time of the Year for you all!