Niceness
January 28, 2014
My weekly trips to Walmart are usually very educational. I
have always enjoyed being a people watcher just to see quirks, funny moments,
surprising moments, etc. – you guys know how this goes. For whatever reason
though, Walmart to me seems to have become the place where you can see the
worst of the worst all the way to the best of the best. Please don’t think I’m
stereotyping here. I’m not talking about how people dress or the things that
they have or purchase. I am talking about attitudes, the good, the bad, and the
ugly. And I’m not trying to be mean to Walmart in any way; it just seems that in
my weekly grocery run through's, I seem to notice more.
There are times that I have been there shopping and have met
some really interesting people. A few months ago, while hurrying through the
store one Friday evening, I met a very nice little man who was riding one of
those scooter type buggies. He was smiling pleasantly as he zipped around us
regular buggy pushers. I scooted over out of his way in an aisle so he could
get through, he smiled as he passed me, and said “Don’t worry, I won’t hit you!
I’m a good driver!” The smile on his face was infectious so I smiled back and
told him that I hoped he had a good day. Just as I was getting ready to come
out of that aisle and go on to the next, the man came back and pulled his cart
in behind me. He told me that he drove a submarine while he was in the Navy in
World War II and that while he’d lost his hearing in one ear; he still had
another one that he could hear good out of and that he’d lived a good, healthy
life. He was such a nice, jovial, and positive man to talk to. We probably chatted
there in that aisle for the better part of fifteen minutes or so. I would have
loved to have sat down and talked with him longer. I can only imagine the
stories that he could have told. I wanted to hug him as we went our own
separate ways but I didn’t want to freak him out. Instead I shook his hand and
thanked him for his service to our country. That visit with that gentleman made
that trip to Walmart worth it.
Then, there are times of going into that store – like during
the “Most Wonderful Time of the Year” season – that makes me want to run far,
far away and never step foot through those sliding doors again. The season that
should bring joy and happiness to all seems to bring out the Mr. Hyde’s in so
many people. Over the last several years, what with all of the
commercialization of the season, I’ve come to expect this kind of attitude and
behavior while in public from November through December. Especially considering
that the last time my mom and I went shopping on the day after Thanksgiving,
which was about ten years ago, we saw two older ladies almost get into a fight
over the last of a certain kind of Care Bear.
Usually though, after the holiday season has passed things
tend to level out and you see more niceness from people. Those simple acts of
kindness like a smile in passing or an “excuse me” when you round a corner and
almost collide with oncoming buggies. But lately, I’ve noticed, and in all
honesty, this is happening everywhere, not just in Walmart or in a store of any
kind, that people in general have lost that niceness or have lost their manners.
That’s very sad when you think about it in the grand scheme of things. It’s not
just one generation that is struggling with this loss of manners and niceness;
it is all generations that are breathing and walking around now. Baby Boomers,
Gen X’s, Gen Y’s, and now the Gen Z’s are all grossly affected by this loss.
When did it become ok to be rude in public? When did it become socially
acceptable to not speak when spoken to, to not utter an “excuse me” if you’ve
done something that warrants it, to not utter a “please” when appropriate, to
not say “Thank You” or “Have a nice day” to people. And why can’t we look at
each other as all equals instead of looking down our noses at people as we pass
them by just because they’re not “quite up to our “standards”?”
Some will blame this on the fact that “I just don’t like to
talk to people,” or the fact that “I’m uncomfortable around people that I don’t
know.” But frankly, I call that Bull Poop (trying to be nice here!)! Common
courtesy doesn’t have to be only on a best friend basis. Common courtesy should
be extended to EVERYONE you come into contact with in a day’s time. I mean
really, how hard is it to smile, or even look pleasantly at someone you pass
along the street or in a shopping aisle? That smile that you give to someone might
be the only kindness that that particular person has received that day. Even on
terrible days when I’d much rather be somewhere, anywhere else, other than in
the grocery store, I still try to smile, even if it’s just a slight grin, at
the people that I come into contact with. How hard is it to say “excuse me,” “thank
you,” “please,” “no thank you,” or any of these niceties to others when we’re
out in public?
To coin a line from one of my favorite movies, “I hate rude
behavior in a man. I won’t tolerate it.” (Captain Woodrow F. Call from Lonesome Dove) Now I don’t expect us all
to get a metal working tool and beat someone with it the way the character did
in the movie, but really, we could all make as big a difference or impact on
other’s lives as Captain Call did in that scene. All we’ve got to do is get out
of our self-imposed “ME and ME ONLY” mentality and realize that we’re not alone
on this planet and that we have to come into contact with others in a day’s
time and most importantly, those people we come into contact with deserve the
same respect from us that we expect to get from them. Try it sometime. Smile at
someone as you pass them. Nine times out of ten, they’ll smile back at you.
That’s the simplest form of kindness that we can each do in a day. Even if you’re
having a bad day, that smile that you give and the one that you receive could
quite possibly make the day so much better.
This isn’t rocket science folks! It’s just getting back to
the basics that we as a society seem to have lost. As I finish this, I think
back to a week that I spent taking some music classes in Nashville. I had to
park in a parking garage a few blocks away from where the classes were being
held and walk. I did this every day for a week. In that week of walking to
classes and in walking around down town Nashville, I passed many, many people.
The one thing that has stuck with me from that time is the fact that everyone
you passed on the street would offer a smile and some sort of salutation; “Good
Morning!” “Hi!” “How are you?” “Beautiful day!” “Evenin’!” And even the
occasional “Howdy ma’am!” complete with tip of the hat. There were any number
of greetings, but people were seemingly, genuinely kind to one another in
passing and some mornings those greetings would just make my day. In the
classes, we talked about how friendly people were in the area. One lady there
was from Liverpool, England. She asked if people in America were always this
friendly or if it was just a southern thing. One of the gentlemen that was helping
with the class told her that he thought it was just a Nashville thing because
you never knew who you were going to meet on the streets of down town and Music
Row. You could be saying “Good Morning” to the next big recording artist or you
could find your agent or manager out there. So even though we all don’t live in
Nashville and we’re all not looking to find our agent or meet the next big
recording artist, I don’t think it would hurt any of us to be nice when we’re
dealing with others. To treat others the way that we want them to treat us. To
remember that we’re all human and sometimes the beasts in us come out
occasionally, but not to let that beast become our complete public persona. Be
nice people! Practice some common courtesy out there! Just Be Nice Y’all!!!
